leap year baby

i remember it like yesterday, but then again i don't.  i remember what i was doing at this exact time four years ago, but i can't remember you as a little baby.  i hated it when everyone would say how fast time goes, but it's so true.  looking at pictures of you all wrapped up in a tiny blanket and time did fly by.  i remember trying to get you to crawl and how you would just go backwards and go under the couch.  and how you would talk your lion for a walk down the hall back and forth 400 times until one day you decided to let go.  i remember how you always had to have three pacis...one in your mouth and one in each hand.  thought we'd never get those away from you!  you were the perfect baby.  you made me a mama and i will forever cherish and love you more than you will ever know.

here we are four years later and it's your first real birthday.  you have been on a countdown since q had his first birthday.  every morning you wake up and insist on checking the calendar to count the days left until the 29th.  you are really hoping for a 3ds, mario kart 7, mario 3d land, sorry (even though you have it).  i think you are going to be a very happy guy tomorrow.  love you sweet little m.  happy birthday my love.

on my heart.

i read a select few blogs and think they have the perfect life.  perfect family.  perfect house decor.  perfect style.  perfect words.  perfect job.  perfect life.  i see pics of them all smiling and crafting and making this and that.  perfect trips.  perfect love.  i tell myself all the time that we make public what we want others to think and know.  this is not to say that the "real" part of life doesn't get written about and there are crying pics of the kids or how something is put off for another day because she is too tired.  i often compare my life to these women and think "oh goodness, i must do better.  i must do that.  i must get that outfit.  i must do something just the way i saw them do it."  i obsess over being perfect.  i want the perfect family, house decor, style, words, job, life, pics, trips, love.  i compare myself to these women and think, "wow, she just wrote the perfect (yep, perfect) letter to her 14 month old and she will be able to have that always.  i should do that for q," and "she has the most perfect (yep, perfect) pics every week of her and her kids.  they are going to love that and i should do it for m and q," and "she has the most beautiful home-vintagey and modern and all together lovely.  i must make my house a home," and "she takes the most perfect (yep, perfect) trips with her guy.  d and i must do that someday."  so as i sit here and struggle with the perfectness that i have created in my mind of how it all it should be, i try to remind myself that my life is perfectly mine. sure, my life could be better and i wish somethings that have happened could be erased, but it's not going to happen. it's perfectly seasoned and i just need to keep living it.

perfection was reached here though.  via d. <3

s- i am amazed at the things you do for sj: the handmade presents, her first birthday, signing, reading.  i could go on and on.  the things you do for the ones you work with and the time and effort you put in for them to make their life better.  the way you take care of your sister especially right now.  your diy wedding i drool over everytime i see you post something regarding it.  the way you document your life.  i want you to know that i think you are perfect in ways you'll never know.

number two.

had meeting number two yesterday for the craft show we are wanting to start up in town.  it will be a small, intimate show with just us four to begin with and then we will invite special guests after we get it all figured out!  it is overwhelming and exciting at the same time.  it couldn't be at a more perfect location with a few talented ladies i am lucky enough to know.  now if all the technical stuff would do itself and we could just create i would be happy.  more happy.  i was able to get a letter wrapped last night and another one started. 

wish i had the time to schedule in my creative time.  i need to get better at "me time."  so does d.  it's one of the first things i remember him telling me when we first started dating.  "i like to have 'me time' so don't think something is wrong if i just want to be alone sometimes."  too bad work and two very active kids doesn't allow us that anymore.  but we will be victorious.  one way or another. 

we are on a countdown for m's birthday.  every morning he wakes up and needs to look at the date to see what day it is and then tell us how many more until his birthday.  we are doing it big this year since it is his real first birthday although he'll be four.  thank you leap year.  he loves (would live at) the water park so, we are throwing a bash at the great wolf lodge and combining q's first birthday in on it as well.  we've never been there but have been told it is amazing.  i am hoping it is.

ps. got my studio calico kits in the mail yesterday.  i can not tell you how much i love getting happy mail.  even if it's a kit that sits unused in my room for months or even a year.  (yep, one has.)  regardless, it makes me happy.  and the smell of new paper is one of my faves.  yep, weird i know.  at least i don't eat it or something.  you won't see me on "my strange addiction."  promise.

and so it begins.

a new start.  a new blog.  a little bit about me and my guys and my crafty side.  lately it's been a lot of me and my guys and not so much crafty side, but i am hoping that will change soon.   (for those who know me, skip to paragraph b.)  i have to little guys, m and q, my babes (husband), d along with two boys (our doggies), wil and bru.  we live in the midwest and keep a chaotic schedule due to my husband's job.  we are in transition  until he finds his dream job and i pray it's in iowa (my home state)-so ready to call a place home again and love it.  i was heavily involved in a scrappy site until 2009 when things happened at a retreat, the site changed owners and all the ones i loved left.  i am still homeless in the scrappy world although i check in at studio calico everyday.  i've subbed there for a year now (just this month-yay for a discount!), although i hardly "talk" there.  the kits are all pretty good and the ladies are pretty nice from what i read.  i have a store on etsy, and because.  little m used to always say, "annnnnnnd because..." so it just seemed fitting.  haven't really done a whole lot with it other than a craft show last fall, but am hoping to devote some more time to it.  currently am meeting with a couple local ladies and my mama to get an in home craft show going.  next meeting is a week away and i am thinking it is going to be a good thing.

b)  i have been doing some soul searching in january (my fave month) and have decided i want to get some things accomplished like taking a photography class, photoshop class, maybe take a real college class come fall, get serious about budgeting and reduce debt, love my guys even more, make this place mine even though it's not and i don't want it to be, be a little, squeaky bit positive (so hard for me to do), don't neglect this blog, learn how to design it, take care of me.  that's just to name a few.  lord.  i have a lot to do, but no better time than thirty-two.  like i have a choice; can't go back in time.  so, i'll take you there.  good, bad and best.  hopefully it's filled with a lot more good and best than anything bad.  after all, i do love ALL my guys, creating and sharing it.  so how can it not be good and best, right?  and since i know you were wondering why january is my fave month...well, for starters it's my birthday month, along with my grandpa's, my best friend's, and quinn's.  not to mention, most of the women in my married family are all january babies.   



me and sweet baby q.  happy birthday one day and 31 years apart.