on my heart.

i read a select few blogs and think they have the perfect life.  perfect family.  perfect house decor.  perfect style.  perfect words.  perfect job.  perfect life.  i see pics of them all smiling and crafting and making this and that.  perfect trips.  perfect love.  i tell myself all the time that we make public what we want others to think and know.  this is not to say that the "real" part of life doesn't get written about and there are crying pics of the kids or how something is put off for another day because she is too tired.  i often compare my life to these women and think "oh goodness, i must do better.  i must do that.  i must get that outfit.  i must do something just the way i saw them do it."  i obsess over being perfect.  i want the perfect family, house decor, style, words, job, life, pics, trips, love.  i compare myself to these women and think, "wow, she just wrote the perfect (yep, perfect) letter to her 14 month old and she will be able to have that always.  i should do that for q," and "she has the most perfect (yep, perfect) pics every week of her and her kids.  they are going to love that and i should do it for m and q," and "she has the most beautiful home-vintagey and modern and all together lovely.  i must make my house a home," and "she takes the most perfect (yep, perfect) trips with her guy.  d and i must do that someday."  so as i sit here and struggle with the perfectness that i have created in my mind of how it all it should be, i try to remind myself that my life is perfectly mine. sure, my life could be better and i wish somethings that have happened could be erased, but it's not going to happen. it's perfectly seasoned and i just need to keep living it.

perfection was reached here though.  via d. <3

s- i am amazed at the things you do for sj: the handmade presents, her first birthday, signing, reading.  i could go on and on.  the things you do for the ones you work with and the time and effort you put in for them to make their life better.  the way you take care of your sister especially right now.  your diy wedding i drool over everytime i see you post something regarding it.  the way you document your life.  i want you to know that i think you are perfect in ways you'll never know.